Reflection Post (Writing Center Reflection)

I went to the writing center to work on my Portfolio. I went with Sarah Collier to help discuss my Choice project for my Portfolio. When I went my goal was to ask her questions about how I could make my personal narrative better. When I got there I read the paper out loud to her. She told me that my significance was pretty good, but it could be better. She also told me that some things did not really seem like they were important and necessary information. We both saw that I did repeat a couple of words and phrases a couple times, however some of the words and phrases do not really have any synonyms, so I had to keep those the same. We both noticed on some sentences that I could word them better and make them flow better, so I edited those sentences. Overall, I feel that Sarah helped me see things that I could have done better, and when I made those changes I think my narrative turned out to be much better.

Choice Project

For my choice project I chose to revise a previous essay I wrote this year based on the feedback I received from my teacher. I chose to revise my personal narrative because it was the first essay we wrote all year and I received the lowest score on it out of any of my essays all year. I definitely feel like I could have done better, and by revising it I made some significant changes that I felt really improved the narrative. The choice of revising my narrative connects to my portfolio because it shows how I have grown as a writer. When I look back on the mistakes I made during the first I quarter, and realize how I could have avoided those mistakes with the knowledge I have received this year, it amazes me on how much I have improved my writing from the beginning of the year. I feel that revising my personal narrative went rather well. I used all the tips and new information that I learned this year to improve my personal narrative.

Reading Post

From the time of this summer to now at the end of my freshmen year, I feel like I am definitely a better reader. I have been able to accelerate my reading, so that I can read books faster and still comprehend what they are saying. This year in class we read Lord of the Flies, ATDPTI, Purple Hibiscus, and Macbeth. Outside of class I read Alex Rider: Skeleton Key.

So far in Purple Hibiscus we have seen how Kambili's and Jaja's lives have changed from before staying with Aunt Ifeoma in Nsukka and after their stay. Before Kambili and Jaja go to visit Aunt Ifeoma their lives are both dull and controlled. From the time Kambili and Jaja were born they had always lived under Papa's rules and known nothing different. Papa was extremely devoted to religion and God and he raised Kambili and Jaja the same way. Papa was very strict and Kambili and Jaja always had a schedule to follow. They were both expected to be the best in school and nothing less. If they ever disappointed Papa or sinned, Papa would beat them.
When they went to Aunt Ifeoma's house in Nsukka for a week, they realized how different life was their compared to life in with Papa in Enugu. Aunt Ifeoma is also a Christian like Papa, but not near as devoted to Christianity as Papa is. They find that Aunt Ifeoma's house is more lenient with religion than their house in Enugu. After staying with Aunt Ifeoma for a week they realized how much more enjoyable life is without all of Papa's rules. While they are there Kambili and Jaja find their own voice and when they get back to Papa they will fight for their own freedom.
In this response for Purple Hibiscus, I analyzed how Kambili and Jaja's lives changed after staying with Aunt Ifeoma.

Our class is currently reading Lord of the Flies. It is a very interesting and strange book. At first I thought the book was not going to be that enjoyable to me, but it has turned out to be an intriguing read. This book has been very surprising to me.
I find it interesting to see how these boys, no older than 12, are reacting and adapting to being stranded on an island, compared to how our class reacted to the given situation. Other things I find interesting are how the leadership role or chief title has been juggled between Ralph and Jack, Ralph and Jack's relationship, and the mystery of the beast. Originally, Ralph was named chief and ever since Jack has tried to strip Ralph of his title. At the start of the book it seemed like Ralph and Jack were friends and throughout the book they have grown farther apart. Ever since the first mention of a beast on the island, the idea was first ignored, and throughout the book it has become more believable and intimidating.
In this response for Lord of the Flies, I talked about how I noticed the change in leadership on the island and the emergence of the idea of the beast.

About Me

Hi! My name is Thomas! I am in 9th grade and I am English I: Foundations, and this is my Portfolio! In my portfolio I will explore my development as a writer throughout this year. In my portfolio I will elaborate on my hits and misses from this year. I will describe my strengths and weaknesses for me as a writer. I will also show a revised version of one of my previous pieces from this year.

Reflection Post (Goals For Next Year)

My goals as a writer for next year are to improve on my sentence fluency, organization, and voice, reducing grammatical errors in my writing, and to expand my vocabulary. To improve my sentence fluency, I will try and use more diverse sentence structure to make my writing more sophisticated and refined. To improve my organization, I will focus more on trying to connect my ideas together in order to make my writing flow more smoothly. To improve my voice, I will work on transitioning to and from different types of writing to help get my point across. Conventions are not necessarliy a problem for me, although in most of my writings I do often tend to make some conventional errors. In order for my writing to be where I want it to be, I definitely need to practice identifying and fixing punctuation, spelling, and grammatical errors. Before next year starts I really want to expand my vocabulary so I can use stronger and more advanced words in my writing. If I achieve these goals, I know my writing will drastically improve and I will definitely benefit from my work later on.

Reflection Post (Weaknesses of Writing)

I definitely have trouble with my sentence fluency, organization, and voice. I need to work on using different sentence structures. Whenever I write, I tend to only use simple sentences, instead of mixing in some compound and complex sentences. Improving on my sentence fluency will help make my writing more complex and exciting. I also need to work on my organization. I often have trouble staying on task and following and connecting ideas together. In addition, I have trouble making transitional sentences and wrapping up a writing in my conclusion paragraph. I especially struggled with organization during my literary analysis. I also need to work on my voice. Whenever I am writing it is hard for me to transition into formal writing from informal writing or vice versa. These traits of writing are very important because they will help make your readers more interested in your writing and it will let them enjoy your writing more.

Reflection Post (Strengths as a Writer)

I would say that my strengths as a writer are my word choice, my understanding of my rhetorical situation, and my use of conventions. Whenever I write I usually try to use bigger and more exciting words to make my writing stronger and intriguing. I am usually good at adjusting to my rhetorical situation. It is really easy for me to talk to an adult and then talk to one of my friends without shaking up my words. Conventions are not my strongest trait of writing, but I think it is one of my biggest strengths. I do not really have trouble with grammar and spelling, but sometimes I might forget a comma every once in a while, or accidentally miss spell a word. These traits of writing are very important because they will help make your readers more interested in your writing and it will let them enjoy your writing more.

Hits and Misses

Literary Analysis

Destruction of Pig Island 

Imagine a world with no rules, no order, and no government. A free for all where anything goes. How would you react to this situation? How would you live? This is setting in the novel Lord of the Flies, by William Golding. A group of boys, strangers to each other, crash land on an unknown island with no adults. At the age of thirteen and younger, they are not used to making decisions on their own and living by themselves. They decide to elect a chief, who is the head of their new society, Ralph. In Lord of the Flies, Golding portrays Ralph as a fearless and civilized leader who above all wants rescue for the kids and describes Jack as an insane leader who will do anything for power, especially kill. It is these contrasts between Ralph and Jack's values of leadership that ultimately leads to the destruction of their society on the island. 

 Ralph's first priorities as chief are to build a fire for rescue and assert order into their society. At this part of the book Ralph's tribe is trying to build a fire and, when they first try, they do not succeed. They then start to argue about how the conch has no power on the top of the mountain. Ralph tells the boys, "If we have a signal going, they'll come and take us off. And another thing. We ought to have more rules. Where the conch is, that's a meeting. The same up here as down there" (42). Ralph is aggravated at the hunters for letting the fire burn out. Golding demonstrates how Ralph establishes order on the island by creating rules for everyone to follow. He also shows his commitment of being rescued and getting back to civilization by trying to create a signal by fire and smoke. Ralph's priority of building a fire contravenes with Jacks main priority of hunting. This one of many contradictions of how the island should run between Ralph and Jack. 

 Jack thinks he should be chief instead of Ralph. During this scene, Ralph is mad at Jack and his hunters for letting the fire go out because the passing ship could not see them without the smoke. Jack then snaps back at Ralph and questions his leadership.  Jack exclaimed, "and you shut up! Who are you, anyway? Sitting there telling people what to do. You can't hunt, you can't sing—' / Ralph answered, ‘I'm chief. I was chosen.' / ‘Why should choosing make any difference? Just giving orders that don't make any sense—" (91). Jack has other opinions of who he thinks should be chief. Both Jack and Ralph's characters are revealed here, while Jack is extremely angry and criticizing, Ralph stays calm and collected. Jack says, "Why should choosing make any difference?" he thinks that being chosen by the others still doesn't make him qualified for a good chief. Jack does not think Ralph qualifies for the high position and thinks he suits the position of authority because of his qualities of hunter and head of the choir. During this assembly, Jack confronts Ralph and says he is not fit for the position of chief. This scene is the first major breaking point in Ralph and Jack's relationship and the division of the island's society. 

 Jack is committed to kill a pig before he is rescued, and will not do anything else until done so. In this scene, Ralph is mad because no one will help make the huts. He also points out that the hunters have not caught a pig yet. Both huts and meat are vital to their survival and so far, neither has been accounted for. "Rescue? Yes, of course! All the same, I'd like to catch a pig first-" He snatched up his spear and dashed it into the ground. The opaque, mad look came into his eyes again (Page 53). Jack has no regard for helping and does not care to be rescued. All Jack is worried about is getting vengeance by catching a pig. The part of the quote "The opaque, mad look came into his eyes again," also foreshadows Jack's disturbing desire to kill and senses to the reader that there is a certain evil that lurks inside of him.  During this discussion between Ralph and Jack Golding displays to us how Jack does not care for rules and only cares for hunting, this irritates Ralph. This quote also introduces Jack's odd desire to kill.

 Jack turns full savage and finally destroys order on the island. This is one of the most savage scenes in the whole book. Roger has just killed Piggy, and now it is just Ralph against Jack's tribe. "See? See? That's what you'll get! I meant that! There isn't a tribe for you anymore! The conch is gone-" He ran forward, stopping. "I'm chief!" (Page 181). This quote indicates that Jack has become full-savage. He has no remorse for Piggy's death and mocks the destruction of the conch. He also exclaims that he is now chief of the island. At this point in the novel, Jack no longer has anyone on his side and its Ralph against the savages. After this scene, there is no longer order and a sense of government on the island. The conch has been destroyed, and Ralph is now the only civilized person left. Although Jack does not kill Piggy himself, he makes Roger kill him to show that Ralph no longer has power. 

 Slowly throughout the book, not only does the boy's society on the island collapse but the island also physically deteriorates because of the conflicts between Ralph and Jack. As chief Ralph first order of business is to build a fire and declare order in their society. Jack later protests that he should be chief instead of Ralph and it doesn't work, which causes tension between the two. Jack starts to obsess over killing a pig, which foreshadows his obsession with killing. Finally, Jack turns full savage and fully destroys order on the island. In this novel, Golding demonstrates what the world would be like without organization and precedent. Without organization and rules, the world would be in complete chaos. He shows us that people act differently when there are no rules, and no one is watching, rather when there are rules, and you expect someone to be watching you. 

I feel that the literary analysis was a hit because of my understanding of the topic I chose.

Research Paper

Black Death vs. Spanish Flu

            Epidemics are rare, but when they do occur they are catastrophic. Most people in this world have never gone through a detrimental epidemic before and most take for granted how lucky they are. There have been many devastating and disastrous epidemics in history, but the two worst epidemics are the Black Death and the Spanish Flu. The Great Famine and the Black Death are responsible for the end of the long period of growth and prosperity in Medieval Europe. The 1300’s were a devastating time for Europe and especially the church. In 1309, the Papacy moved from the city of Rome to Avignon. From 1315-1317 and 1347-51 the Great Famine and Black Death ravaged through Europe and tested people’s faith in God (Lee). Many people thought that God had brought the Great Famine and the Black Death upon them as punishment for their bad deeds (Boccaccio). The Great Famine (1315-1317) caused millions of deaths in Europe. Starvation and malnutrition were not the only causes of death during the Great Famine, it was a time full of crime, disease, mass death, and cannibalism (“The Late Middle Ages”). Likewise, the Spanish Flu pandemic arose around the end of World War II. This disease was first recognized at a military base in Fort Riley, Kansas. Private Albert Gitchell appeared at the infirmary complaining of a fever, sore throat, and a headache (“The Spanish Flu”). It is now known that the disease was a parasite that needs a host cell of another living organism in order to reproduce, but back then researchers did not have the right tools to identify this microscopic agent. The microscopic parasite often desires the cells lining the lungs the most to use as host cells. Once reproduction is fully complete, the virus moves on to a new host (“The Flu Pandemic”). Of the two disasters, the Spanish Flu was the worst because of how quickly it killed it victims, the death toll, and its substantial effect on the United States life expectancy. 

The Black Death caused harsh skin conditions, swellings all over the body, and a general feeling of weakness which resulted in expedited death. There were two different plagues that made up the Black Death: the most known is the bubonic plague, where the lymph glands swell. The other is the pneumonic plague, where the lungs succumbed first (“The Late Middle Ages”). Purplish-black swellings as big as an egg or even an apple grew just about anywhere on the body, which were unerring signs of impending death (“The Black Death…”). Some symptoms usually appeared within several days: headache, general feeling of weakness, constant aches and chills, white coating on the tongue, rapid pulse, slurred speech, confusion, fatigue, apathy, and a staggering gait (Lee). Like the Black Death, the Spanish Flu caused severe skin conditions, but it also caused bleeding from the mouth and nose, and a dangerously high fever. The Spanish Flu was nicknamed the “purple death” because it turned victims’ skin blistery and purplish-black color (“Camp Devens Letter”). It caused victims to randomly cough up blood and caused sudden nosebleeds (“The Spanish Flu”). The disease caused a cytokine storm, a potentially fatal immune response throughout the lungs, which was very damaging to the host (“The Flu Pandemic”). The fever that came with the Spanish Flu often reached 105°F. Even after the symptoms of the flu subsided, victims often suffered from weakness and depression. Also, survivors were left unprotected to bronchitis and pleurisy (“Camp Devens Letter”). Both diseases had severe symptoms which spread in many different ways.

            The Black Death spread from Asia to and throughout Europe by fleas on rats, foreign traders, and allegedly the Jews which is why there were so many deaths. Fleas carried the disease and infected the rats by biting them, then the rats bit the humans, infecting them (“The Black Death…”). Mongol conquest made trade safe and easier between the East and the West. Soon after the Crusades trade flourished and Italian merchants unintentionally brought the disease back on their ships. Some sects such as the Flagellants blamed the Jews for spreading the disease, saying they poisoned the wells of Europe (“The Late Middle Ages”). Consequently, by the early 1348 many Jews were being persecuted in large quantities (“The Black Death…”). Since the Spanish Flu arose towards the end of the First World War, it spread by infected troops and then, by war. The pandemic came in three waves, the second being the deadliest affecting the U.S., Europe, and Sierra Leone (“The Spanish Flu”). The war made it easier for the disease to spread and infect because it weakened the soldiers and countries (“The flu pandemic”). Infected troop ships sailed to Europe and spread a new strand of influenza to Europe (“The Spanish Flu”). Once the diseases spread throughout the world, they caused immense damage to society.

            The Black Death ravaged the English government and was responsible for killing almost half of Europe’s population. The Black Death is the main reason for the decline of papacy and feudalism in Europe. The epidemic is responsible for killing 25- 40% of Europe’s population between 1347-1351(“The Late Middle Ages”). The plague uncultivated the farmland which increased the food demand and increased farm prices. The plague also caused farm wages to fall and some places offered tax breaks to attract incomers. The church of Europe was weakened because people thought God had sent the plague upon them as punishment (“The Black Death…”). Some people thought the world was coming to an end, so they joined factions such as the flagellants, the religious enthusiasts who wandered the countryside whipping themselves as a way of doing penance to God (“The Late Middle Ages”). Like the Black Death the Spanish Flu caused millions of deaths around the world. The pandemic caused three times the number of deaths as the First World War and killed approximately 3% of the world’s population in two years.  The death toll of the Spanish Flu is estimated to be between 50- 100 million, killing approximately 3% of the world’s population (Carty). The flu pandemic caused the mortality rate to significantly increase, unevenly be country (“The Spanish Flu”). The disease was so deadly of people between the ages of twenty- forty, at least two out of every 100 people infected would die within weeks (“The flu pandemic”). It caused the national infection rate of afflicted Americans in 1918-1919 to exceed 25 million (“Camp Devens Letter”). The pandemic spread during World War I and it caused three time as many deaths as the First World War. Together, due to the pandemic and the mortality of World War I, the U.S. life expectancy dropped by twelve years (Jones). No other epidemics in history have caused as many deaths and caused as much lasting damage as the Black Death and the Spanish Flu.

            Despite the Black Death’s significant impact on the English government, the Spanish Flu was the worst epidemic in history because of how quickly it killed its victims, the death toll, and its major effect on the United States’ life expectancy. Although the Spanish Flu caused the most global damage, it has somehow faded in the minds of many people in today’s world. According to the authors of “The Flu Pandemic that Killed 50 Million”, “the Spanish Flu pandemic has remained an enigma, not only because scientists are still unsure about why it was so lethal, but because it’s a hugely significant world event that for decades seemed to have been largely forgotten” (“The flu pandemic”). Once infected, victims from ages 20-40 were usually were killed within weeks (“The flu pandemic”). The Spanish Flu pandemic killed three times as many people in two years as the First World War did in four years (Jones). The disease killed an estimated 50- 100 million people, approximately 3% of the world’s population (Carty).  This year, 2018, is the 100-year anniversary of the Spanish Flu outbreak, and coincidentally a very harsh flu season and that is why people should remember the tragedy caused by the Spanish Flu.

I feel that the research paper was a hit, even though my grade doesn't really show it, because of the amount of time I worked on it, and also because I learned a lot from the project and really enjoyed working on it.

Blog Posts

Question 384: Why do you play sports?

Ever since I was little, I have always had a ball in my hand. A football, a basketball, a baseball, and also a soccer ball. Sports have always been in my life, and I do not know what I would do without them. I play sports because they are fun, they are usually good exercise, they always give me something to do, and I am pretty good at them. Every time I am playing a game, no matter if it is a real game that goes on your record or just playing a pick up game with your friends, it is always so enjoyable. I have always been in good shape because I play sports and I am always being active.

If I did not play sports I would have so much free time on my hands that I would not know what to do with it. This year has especially been challenging with sports and school. I rarely have free time on week nights because of practice and homework. It is very relaxing when I get to come home right after school and finish my homework early and get to relax instead of finishing all my stuff at 10:00 at night. I have been playing football, basketball, baseball, and soccer ever since for as long as I can remember. I have not played soccer since sixth grade and I had a brief period of time where I did not play football, but other than that I always play. Since I have been playing for so long, I have gotten very good at each sport.

Sports was a major factor in my decision to come to Episcopal. When they said you could play football, basketball, and baseball, I knew that would be the big decision maker in my decision process. Being able to play multiple sports in high school, when most kids only get to play one or maybe two is so gratifying and it makes me know how blessed I am to be given this opportunity. Sports are my life.

I think this blog post was a hit and my favorite one I wrote because I got to talk about my biggest passion, sports. 

The three pieces of writing that I see as misses are my personal narrative, the political post, and the writing strength post. 
The personal narrative was difficult for me for two reasons. One, I had to think of a story that I could tell that would last over four pages. Two, I did not really understand the true meaning of a personal narrative until after the peer reviews.
I see the political post as a miss because I am not to big on politics and when I saw we had to do this post, I was not really excited. Also, once I found a good article it was kind of hard to decipher what it was about.
Finally, my writing strengths post was also a miss for me because it was hard to really pin point my strengths and weaknesses as a writer and then explain why I either excel or struggle in those particular areas.